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Monthly Archives: July 2009

Morris was a dog but didn’t want to be one he would much rather have been a chicken.He didn’t really know why he liked them all they did was peck around and cluck.Unlike any other dog he hated chasing chickens as well,whenever he saw another dog chasing one he growled and chased them away.He hated chewing bones chasing balls and catching Frisbees,he was no ordinary dog.

That night he made sad dog noises till midnight when suddenly a chicken walked up to him.

“If you want to be a chicken I can turn you into one”,it said.The chicken plucked one of  its  feathers off and waved on Morris’s nose three times,he sneezed and everything went dark.Morris woke up in the morning and went to drink from a puddle but when he saw his reflection it wasn’t him looking back it was a …………………….chicken Morris was a chicken.

Being a chicken was boring all he did was peck seeds off the ground , cluck and of course avoid dogs.Sometimes he wished he could run fast like he used to and bark back at the mean dogs.A few days later three new dogs arrived at the farm an Alsatian a bulldog and a boxer.Morris didn’t like the look of them.As soon as they saw the chickens they started chasing them.These dogs didn’t just want to chase them they were also hungry and chicken was first on their menu.The chickens ran into the pen and the dogs couldn’t get them but Morris was trapped so he started to runaway.The dogs chased him more and more Morris wanted to be a dog again but were was the magic chicken.

He ran threw a field and under a cow the bulldog followed under than the boxer but the Alsatian was to big and got kicked by the cow.Morris carried on running and clucking for help.They started running through mud it was really slippery and the bulldog slipped and crashed into a wall.The boxer carried on chasing Morris.Suddenly Morris found the magic chicken.”PLEASE TURN ME BACK INTO A DOG”,yelled Morris.The chicken did the same again which sent Morris flying into a barn.The boxer saw the magic chicken he got him at the edge of a river.

Suddenly Morris leaped out the barn as a dog again and  bashed the boxer intro the water.”Thank you for turning me back into a dog”, said Morris.”Your welcome thanks for saving me”, said the chicken.Morris went home later he saw his friend charlie the pug.They watched the feathered clucking birds pecking  around.”Wouldn’t you like to be a chicken”,he said.

“No”,said Morris.

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My plump roast hogs are heading for the oven

My chubby chickens are heading for the choco gardens for their  just desserts

My cattle are heading for a battle in the fields of death

My sheep are heading for the shaving of a life time

My horse is heading for the glue factory to be turned into gluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue

My large fat ducks are heading for the the dining table were five fat gentle men are expecting a plump Christmas goose

And as for my dum dog and fat cat they dint finish their plankon now  its mine.

Ri was born in 2005 26th of august

Ri best peoples are crotney wewen  and daisse

RI RA ROI RIO I STAR IN THE GLENNYWAY AT YOU TUBE.

please comment and ask me  questions and ri will answer them

If you want to see me on you google type in   glennyway you tube

Markus was a mouse he loved eating fish fingers one day he ate three then the rest in the house.Eventually there was non left in the world so he went fishing.When he caught one it yelled “STOP, PLEASE DON’T EAT ME”.Markus payed know attention and popped it in his mouth.It jumped back out,it yelled again,”OH GOD YOU USELESS TWIT LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CHEESE EATING FREAK”.

“What is cheese”, said Markus. “Cheese is the best mouse food ever”,said the fish . Soon Markus   had tried it,soon there was no cheese left on earth.Markus went back to the fish and cry-ed.  “I feel like I’m going to”,BANG BANG CRASH SMASH BANG.He exploded and all the cheese and fish fingers were returned to the earth.The fish just swam off saying” i wish i was dead”. suddenly a man caught him and he found himself  in an oven and then he was turned into a i bet you know

Cheese……………………………………………………………………………….WHATEVER

I am getting rid of that fat selfish lazy immature inconsiderate water hog for good today.Shes a pain in the hairy green butt.Why did she kiss my bum and hairy green poo yuk.

So i sold her to the bacon factory.One day ill have a butte of bacon.

From fat slob

I was very cross of fat slob he was late for his din dins. Well fat slob what time do you call this i said.Dunno said fat slob is it 60 o clock.I yelled loudly and got angry.He gave me a pull up the nose we were very bad tempered and acted rudely hoggish.

I am disgusted with his behaving ways. He said i didn’t run the house right and ran out on me again.He slapped me in disgrace and left like a half hogged twit.What ever i don’t care see ya next time for more of us.

from your fattest piggy friend.

Hi I’m fat slob one day i was getting married thoughts wee rushing through my head.When i arrived at the church there was my bride to be, fat pig.I waddled into the room,my parents sat there staring in disgrace.

I ran out the church screaming like Homer Simpson when he loses his best donut.It had been a bad day,if you ever get married i hope your wedding is just as bad as mine.From your dearest friend.